Star Wars Episode II
Attack of the Clones

I'm prepared to forgive George Lucas. I'm prepared to accept a grovelling letter of apology for The Phantom Menace and the Special Editions, and call off the dogs. Why am I prepared to grant this generous absolution? Because he has made Attack of the Clones. And it's pretty fucking good.

You have to think about what you want from a Star Wars movie. I tell you what you don't want, because I know. I know all. You don't want plots revolving around trade blockades and votes of no confidence. You don't want Jar-Jar Binks [1] cramming his stupid digitised face into each frame. You don't want the most evil Sith Lord ever running round as a little bowl-headed moppet. You don't want a fight sequence between two armies of CGI personality voids. God help us, you don't want people trying to act, cluttering up the screen. And George Lucas, somehow, has finally realised this.

Let's just say that The Phantom Menace was a warm-up. He needed to get it out of his system. I'll shut up about that now. I promise. No more mentions of Episode I. Okay, so Episode II.

I remember watching The Empire Strikes back and thinking "Damn, Slave 1 is a cool ship. But it never gets to do much". Uh-huh. That ship rocks out here. Where am I going with this? Why, to Jango Fett, of course. He's the dude the fanboys got all excited about when piccies started dribbling out of the shoot. Boba Fett's dad couldn't help but be cool as anything. And he's pivotal to the film, despite possessing that trademark taciturn Fett nature [2]. I think that gives you some idea of what to expect. This is a fan-pleaser, a triumphant return to form for Lucas. The actors seem more at home in their bluescreen world, with Ewan McGregor the most noticeable improvement. He is now completely comfortable as Obi-Wan, running, jumping, climbing poles; he has become the honourable rogue he was promising when he signed up, his natural charisma as an actor finally shining through. Natalie Portman, too, has shrugged off the mannered performance of the previous film [3], becoming not only a far more ballsy female lead than Carrie Fisher ever managed, but also just managing to pull off the all-important courtship scenes with dignity if not flair. The main reason she struggles is Hayden Christensen, who looks and moves just fine - his expressions perfectly capture the balance between feisty, evil and angsty - but delivers most of his lines as if by rote. I suspect he may be attempting to put just a hint of James Earl Jones in his voice, but this is hampering his ability to be natural in the intimate scenes between him and Portman [4]. I'm sure he'll be fine come Ep III.

Okay, so, I know what you really want to know. You want to know the answer to the important question - how is Jimmy Smits in this movie? Well, he's great. Don't worry. Jimmy's doing just fine.

Oh, and the battle scenes all rock. I mean, really. Remember back in the mid-70s and Lucas wanted to make a Vietnam movie? And you know how much cooler Vietnam movies would be if there were robots, clones and laser-beams involved? Yes. And that's just the middle section of what is essentially one of the biggest set-piece action sequences in the Star Wars series. From the moment Padmé and Anakin set down on Geonosis, the audience is treated to an eye-candy festival which, almost uniquely for a CGI splurge, does not feel like empty spectacle [5]. There are several distinct sections to the action, and each seems to be a labour of love in and of itself, hopping genres with ease. A pursuit through the droid foundry revels in its swashbuckling nick-of-time nature, recalling frenetic silent movies and, er, Galaxy Quest. This is then followed by an arena-based creature feature (it's nice to know that, 30 years on from Doug McClure's adventures, monsters still look like iguanas with bits stuck onto them), Ben-Hur meets Harryhausen. This is followed by the aforementioned Vietnam-with-lasers bit - a battle which rivals the Hoth scenes for sheer scale - and then, finally, to the expected lightsaber duel [6], a duel which will be indelibly printed on the memory of all fans. I mean it.

So, faith has been reaffirmed. Don't be put off by memories of Episode I. Jar-Jar gets all of 10 lines in this movie. The speeder chase through Coruscant is exhilarating in a way which the computer game-like Pod Race was not. The effects are much, much better - hell, I didn't even care that Yoda was totally CGI this time round. There's a decent storyline that doesn't rely on taxation and trade routes. Samuel L Jackson with a purple lightsaber. No Ewoks. No moppets. No reason to stay away. Enjoy.